|
grrl_interrupted
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Country: Australia
Birthday: 9/30/1973
Gender: Female
Interests: Writing
Expertise: Autism Spectrum Disorder
Occupation: Research and development
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/15/2003
|
|
| Well i've ben a bit of a traitor to xanga lately and have a livejournal account because some of my friends are on there. I have started a new job with more responsibility which has had its ups and downs in the first few weeks. I have been to see the counseller and now I must decide whether t implement his suggestions which witll be confronting for me as it involves one to one communication of a rather difficult nature. | | |
| Oh how I would love to cross that line.
She slips through my dreams
arousing a perfect sense of desire
from the seat of my subconscious.
Yet by day she is a different being
more subtle on my senses,
calming and inspiring at the same time.
I am at ease in her presence.
So why this nightly bitter sweet anguish....................
And so it goes,
the times when I touch her now by day
are filled with the raw emotion of my dream state.
Her soft skin burns like a fire to fuel my confusion.
I burn for her yet she sees only earth and water in my soul. | | |
| Being that I have been an academic and am now working in the area of autism my tendency is to use person first language ie "Person with......." . I like and own the term autistic for myself but when I use it at work or university it is like making a political statement. Many communities have indeed revolted against person first language and gone with a rather political use of nouns such as deaf or blind or more controversially cripple or gimp. A sense of community has grown around the use of these terms and politically it is a backlash against medicine and academia who continue to try and dictate to different populations.
I could be a person with autism formerly known as autistic formerly known as mad formerly known as possessed. Each of these terms reflected the dominant world view at the time. I think whether I choose to own any of these terms is entirely up to me.
On the term Aspie, It is neology, a new word and as such open to arbitrary assignation of meaning by many.
The following is something I have previously written on th term ASPIE:
Here is my statement of current interpretation of the meaning of Aspie:
ASPIE is derived from the term Asperger syndrome but has come to represent a broad group of people who are significantly neurologically different to the norm-referenced population and have traits similar to those described by Hans Asperger and subsequent clinicians. The term Aspie can be used to describe a person or people with a clinical diagnosis of Asperger syndrome but is not limited to this population - that is, many may self diagnose or describe themselves as Aspie without coming into contact with a clinician. The concept of an Aspie has come to have socio-political meaning for a group of people who use it as description of a person or people who deserve rights, recognition and status within society as different but still equally as able as the typical population.
What Aspie means to me:
Aspie means as much to me as queer or dyke mean to me as a homosexual woman. These terms were once neology and now have ascribed meaning but they are still open to wild interpretation as both positive and proud terms or as insults. I tend to shy away from using terms that can and are so consistently misinterpreted. (Please don't think that I am equating being Aspie with being a dyke or queer it is merely an analogy offered to make my position a little clearer (even if only to myself)) | | |
| A phone call to set the heart racing, to set the fullness of feeling in motion. When you walked out the door you took part of me with you and left me blind; fumbling for meaning in relation to the void that was once me in relation to you. How now am I supposed to feel- A heady wild dancing of the senses, sinking gut recognition, how will the game be played upon your return.
Comfortable laughter at the tone and playfulness in your voice, betrays purposeful thought. You can't just slip back in - the void has been filled with purpose and meaning. It has been so long and I have grown so much in spite of your leaving. I want you to see what I have become. | | |
| It eats away at your cells and sows memory seeds in your gut and your heart; causes those twisted feelings like part of your body is caving in on itself. Disclosure does nothing to remedy the feeling - its more like a hard smack in the face. I know in some way we are all connected and wanting to make someone feel is not a bad thing in itself. If I want to touch her face to take away the hurt, the loneliness and confusion there are consequences. This is not mine alone as I have found it reflected in the memories of the cells shared, digested, inhaled, reflected upon, martyred to the collective unconscious. As I slumber I turn within myself and know that I am connecting without will to the mind that thought me into being, but at the same time I am body bound; that mind is me yet strangely affected by desire. The illusion of fate deals harder blows when married with hope.
So take my hand and there will be no tomorrow. | | |
|
|
